Parents, Let’s Talk About Sex
For years and years, talking about God’s beautiful design for sex and relationships was not the norm, it was even taboo. But we believe that today, this is a conversation that should begin with parents, in order to raise up your children to be able to fight cultures lies about sex, love, and relationships, and choose the truth of abundant life in Jesus. Through Him, you have the freedom to have these conversations about love and sex!
While freedom is the open door that leads to these conversations, we know that these conversations can be hard to start early on, and most often they do not happen organically. It’s something you have to do with intention and planning and you need to have some knowledge of truth. We want to be a safe space for you and we desire to help equip and encourage you to begin having these conversations!
Why Parents?
Parents are essential in this conversation, because you automatically have the trust to speak into the private places in their hearts and you know your child better than anyone else. We want to elevate this conversation because it is special - sex was God’s idea! It was designed by Him, and it’s a gift to share this with your son or daughter for both mom and dad. We believe that parents are the most important piece to this puzzle, alongside a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Why Have These Conversations, Can’t I Wait?
Sexual sin has become so prevalent in our culture that it’s the norm now. If we don’t share God’s story for love, sex, and relationships, the world is sitting on ready to share their counterfeit perspective. Believe that you have a chance, and that you can be equipped to fight against what your children are going to be battling against every single day. Many parents feel comfortable and confident and they think they have a lot of safeguards in place, but we know that the enemy will always find an open door. So, the focus should be on equipping your children in spite of what they’re going to be exposed to. The principle of first mention says that you are most likely to believe the first mention of a story that you hear. Therefore, if kids hear what culture says about relationships, love, and sex first, then you’ve got a long of ground to make up. But, if you tell them God’s story first, then they can measure everything against that, and it gives them the upper hand from the beginning.
What Age Should I Start This Conversation?
Unfortunately, it’s probably going to be much earlier than you might hope, because children are exposed to so much so early- no matter what safeguards you’ve put into place. You should absolutely begin sharing with your children when they are in the single digits. This starts with the beginning conversations, even in preschool, about how to care and love for one another. This lays the groundwork for all future conversations, and begins to establish you as a safe space for them! Because, on average, children are exposed to pornography between the ages of 8-11, we need to have some conversations prior to that about things like loving your body and who it was made for. This may make you sad or even angry that you should begin sharing so early on, so take the time to grieve that, but this is the world we live in today and it truly is a gift to be the first one to share it with your child.
What If I’ve Found Out That My Child Has Already Strayed From God’s Design?
We are so sorry, and we know your first reaction might be strong emotions like panic, fear, and anger. So first, take that to God, and confess that to him. Then, look for the opportunity for starting over, for reconciliation, and for freedom! This is not the end, this is actually the beginning of shining light in a dark area of your child’s heart. You have been given an opportunity to show them what Jesus looks like, and to show them your love for them is bigger than any mistake they could make. That’s exactly what Jesus demonstrated when he went to the cross, that his love is enough for us. Through walking with one another in forgiveness and confession, we can all have a fresh start! Our God is in the business of making beauty out of the messy mistakes that we create.
While this could end up in a fight against your children, it doesn’t have to. We want it to be a fight with your child against the lies and for truth! Keep fighting friends!
*This content was taken from a conversation on our Worth the Fight podcast. If you’d like to listen or share with a friend — you can find it in Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Play.