5 Keys to Healthy Dating

To so many of us, dating can feel like a lot of pressure, because of our high-stakes dating culture today. The pressure to find your “perfect match” so that we can have the perfect Instagram photos and becoming #relationshipgoals is overwhelming, and it can often lead us to making some not-so-wise decisions in our dating life. The reality is, those types of things are not what we should be focused on when beginning a relationship. In this blog, we’ll discuss some huge things to concentrate on in order to have a healthy dating relationship for both parties!

Communication Comes First

We’ve all heard it before: communication is key in any relationship. You may know this to be true, but if you haven’t seen this modeled well, you may be lost on how to truly communicate your thoughts, feelings, and needs to others. Obviously, there are many things that need to be discussed with your significant other, and one huge point to remember in these discussions is this: listen well. If you’re listening, you’re more apt to understand where that person is coming from, and in turn resolving conflict/communicating in general can go much more smoothly. 

Early on in dating, communicating our expectations is vital to a healthy relationship! Truthfully, this is vital throughout your relationship, because both of your expectations will change as the relationship grows. Having the right expectations and discussing them together builds a great foundation for your relationship. Further, meeting those expectations strengthens trust and connection.

Respect Goes Both Ways

You know the golden rule: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Well, this absolutely applies in any relationship. Out of love for our Father in Heaven, we are called to love and respect those around us, including your significant other. Respect means understanding the fact that you are going to have differing opinions, because you are two different people. It also means you treat each other with respect when discussing those opinions. Respect means honoring who they are, and not trying to change those things that make them “them”. Also, you’ve got to respect your own self enough to know how you should be treated, and if you aren’t being treated that way, ending that relationship.

Set Boundaries From the Start

You knew this was coming, and it may have been preached to you by parents or leaders over and over again. But y’all, this is just so huge. Without boundaries, you’re bound to cross any and every line. Proverbs 4:23 says to guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. If we don’t set boundaries to guard our heart, you will see the effects in every aspect of your life. 

What do we mean by boundaries, exactly? We mean concrete lines you set before entering a relationship- physically, emotionally, whatever that means for you. Write them down. Communicate them with trusted friends who will keep you accountable to them. Most importantly, communicate them to the person you’re dating. They’ve got to be in the loop on this too!

Take a Good Look at Their Character

As a Christian, we know the Lord calls us to be equally yoked (to date/marry an individual who is also walking with the Lord.) While someone may know all the answers or even be able to hold a Biblically-sound conversation with you, you’ve got to really examine their character. Believe their behavior, that is what reveals the kind of person they truly are. When you look at the fruits in someone’s life, you’ll see where their heart lies. And if you find someone displaying those fruits of the Holy Spirit, you’re on the right track, my friend!

Seek Guidance

It’s so important to seek the Lord constantly while pursuing a relationship and ask for direction and wisdom from Him to discern if this is where He wants you! Be open to his leading, whether it’s to continue in this relationship or to go your separate ways. I do want to say one little thing though, I’ve heard so many Christians try to turn dating into a perfect formula where they expect God to give them some huge or audible sign that this is the person they will marry, but oftentimes God doesn’t work that way. Seek His guidance, seek advice from trusted mentors, and you’ll be able to navigate this whole dating thing with wisdom and confidence.